Sick of Being Sick

Stages of being ill:

1. Colleague at work starts sneezing. Sneezer-Colleague
2. 'I told you so'-Colleague says: "you should have had the flu shot this year"
3. You brag about not having caught a cold in over 6 years
4. Hypochondriac-Colleague starts coughing
5. Sneezer-Colleague calls in sick
6. You start sneezing... No!
7. 'I told you so'-Colleague says: "you should have had the flu shot this year"
8. Your head aches
9. Your skin turns the shade of grey that no makeup can hide
10. Cautious-Colleague recommends you to go home
11. No! you won't succumb to a cold. You brag about not having caught a cold in over 6 years and  try to fight symptoms by taking vitamins, eating oranges, wearing layers... But it's too late
12. Your nose starts running. Constantly
13. You take a box of tissues to every meeting
14. Your nose blocks
15. You start breathing with your mouth. As a consequence, you are thirsty all of the time
16. Food loses its taste
17. You're told to go home. You resist
18. Your voice becomes manly. And echoed...
19. Your eyes start watering without reason
20. Ears stop registering sounds
21. Welcome to life in a bubble!
22. Your brain doesn't catch up with the outer-bubble world making your sentences incoherent
23. Your skin begins to ache
24. You surrender, admit that you're sick and go home
25. Feeling vulnerable, you crawl into bed with the sole aim of not getting out
26. Mummy!!!!
27. You toss and turn in bed, your cough impeding you to get any sleep
28. You're bored
29. Change base camp to sofa
30. You're bored
31. Change base camp to bed. Can't sleep
32. You're bored
33. Mummy!!!
34. You're so bored and miserable that you go back to work
35. Cautious-Colleague asks whether it is a good idea for you to be back so soon
36. You pretend to be 100% recovered
37. An ear pops. You feel the happiest person in the world
38. A nostril decongests. Yey!!
39. Cautious-Colleague starts sneezing and gives you a killer look

Jet Lag is the New Hangover

Severely dehydrated. Struggling for words. Head and muscle (every. single. one. of. them.) ache. Lightheaded. Weak... Hangover? No; jet lag. 

I'm just back from a business trip to the other side of the world. A trip short enough to not fully adjust, but long enough to have left part behind. I think a part of me has been lost in every time zone from here to there and back. Now I'll just need to wait for the pieces to catch up with the cardboard version of myself sitting here.

I don't know what time it is of what day. I don't even care, for that matter. I just want to go under the duvet and hide there until tomorrow. That and my Mam. Maaam!! 

Yeh, you might want the exact same thing (plus greasy junk food) if you were out partying last night. But hangover is the price you have to pay for a night out having fun! There's nothing fun about spending 15 hours between airports (plural), flights (plural) and queues (plural: check-in, security, toilets, boarding, disembarking, etc.) 

Ok, let's be fair. It wasn't that bad. I have to stay positive and look on the bright side:

• the 3 airports I was in had Wi-Fi, so I didn't even have to work on my life-work balance

• my bag reached the same destination as I did. Both ways.

• I did not missed my connection. In fact, I spent more than 3 hours waiting for a 45 min flight home

• I was able to change my middle seat for an aisle seat

• with my headphones on, the (constant and extremely loud) screams of the baby were 'differed'

• my vegetarian food was always served before the rest (it was still tasteless crap, but I still got the "I wish I was you" look from the passengers around me)

• the flight attendant gave me a second blanket, so I didn't lose any toes to a/c frost

• no threatening devices/substances were found in my hand luggage after it was embarrassingly completely emptied in front of the whole London Heathrow airport

• despite absurdly feeling a mixture of anxiety and guilt, I was able to provide the correct answer when the cops (that's how they are called there) in the security check asked my name

Oh, well, at least I'm certain that I didn't text my ex, said anything which can be then held against me or hugged others proclaiming them my best friends ever.

*Note: Any grammatical errors and nonsense in this post can be fully attributed to severe jet lag conditions. Be nice and avoid judging me solely on the content of this post. Highly appreciated.