Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Letter to Neglected Ageing

Dear increasing number of women,

Allow me to be blunt: that plastic surgery does not make you look younger. It makes you look weird. Chucky-meet-E.T. weird. 

Eyes are meant to blink. Lips should move when you talk. A nose has sides; plural. Your face should allow you to express feelings.

All this re-arranging of skin and bones does my head in.
And don't get me started on other parts of the body... For all the guys out there: if they don't move when we do, they're fake.

My most sincere congratulations if your objective was to confuse people. ChapeauWe don't know when you're angry because you can't frown. We cannot tell if you're happy, because you can't smile. (You can always turn to the "if you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!")

Plastic surgery does not make you look younger. It makes you look nothing like yourself and exactly the same as all the other women who have had cosmetic surgery done. So alike that I used to think there was only one surgeon in the world creating this new specimen in batche. Why would you want to go voluntarily through this painful surgery? And even do so repeatedly (plastic surgery is like Pringles: "Once you pop, you can't stop"!)?

You would be doing yourself, the ones around you and your pocket a favour if you took another approach to ageing.

Someone who hopes to look older than her grandchildren.


1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha! Does this mean that I can also stop buying antiageing creams?