Wedding Planner

I'm hiring a wedding planner.

Hold your horses before jumping into any conclusions: I am not getting married - everything's still good in singlehood -  everyone else around me is. And they all seem to be doing it at the same time! 

That's why I'm on the lookout for a wedding planner. Not your regular one though. To pull me through this wedding season my wedding planner needs to also be a:

1. Stylist

Looking for a dress opens an overwhelming world of infinite options of colours, shapes, lengths...At least the bride knows she'll be wearing white! 

2. Financial advisor

Outfit for the day (dress, jewellery, handbag, shoes, etc.) 

+ gift for the newlyweds 

+ flights and accommodation when needed 

+ hen-do expenses

+ hairdresser 

x by number of weddings 

= I'll let you do the math!

3. Chauffeur

Wedding day: home > ceremony. Ceremony > wedding reception. Wedding reception > home. 

Prior to wedding day: frantic tours around the city in desperate search of a decent dress.

4. Prompter

Weddings bring people together who haven't been so in years. And, although surprisingly good with faces, I'm a complete disaster at remembering names. Having, like political and royalty members do, someone whispering in my ear the name, relationship to the bride/groom and major life events of the person approaching would prevent me from repeating embarrassing experiences.

5. Nutritionist

Traditional Spanish weddings offer a fine selection of small bites prior to a (at least) 4 course dinner. Add the glasses of wine that waiters eagerly keep refilling and the open bar and you easily get yourself into a nutrition bombshell that only a few weeks' detox plan will help your digestive system recover from.

6. My +1

For 2 main reasons:

a) to mitigate seating planning headaches for the bride and groom (tables are normally set for even number of people)

b) to avoid answering for the nth time whether I am with someone at the moment, which normally follows with a pity faced "who knows? you might meet someone today".

Spellbound Selves

You know that moment, at a party or in a club, when everyone around you is utterly drunk and you are as sober as a judge? When you witness people embarrassing themselves to a point where you really hope they won't remember when their intoxication drops? People who you thought you knew pretty well impersonating someone else. It's like looking at long-time friends for the very first time.

It seems that the exact same thing happens when everyone around you is in a relationship and you are single.

This thought came into my mind during these festive days, when I spend an unusual amount of time with people I otherwise rarely see (note to self: this is material for a blogpost). I'm sure that they have experienced the change gradually, but for me, it comes as a shock. The guy who had us all heartbroken by playing 'hard to get', has turned into a puppet under the orders of the lady holding the strings. He keeps running from one place to another like a loyal puppy following her orders. He's not alone. The once professed and active feminist is now responding to nicknames ranging from "Princess" to "Babe" and using terms of the kind of "my Little Muffin". Personal interests seem to vanish to make room for joint activities: the great cook of the group now only bakes cupcakes. Or, in some cases, one of them absorbs the lifestyle of the other: the barbecue organiser now follows a strict vegetarian diet. 

When drunk, if we were able to watch ourselves from the side of sobriety, would we regret the person we become when bewitched like this?

When in a relationship, if we were able to watch ourselves from the side of singlehood, would we regret the person we become when bewitched like this?