Everything in Excess

Reality check: Christmas is over, you can resume your normal live.

If you celebrate Christmas you might be like: "What? normal life? but Christmas is part of my life!". 

Well..I see it more as the movie track of your year: everything condensed in a short period of time.

Family: you might not see them in months and then suddenly you're meeting relatives day after day. And the ones you don't meet, you have to call. People you haven't spoke to since last year. It gets to a point that you run of things to talk about! I'm sure I've addressed my cousins by names other than their own in repeated occasions.

Food: you eat normally for over 350 days a year and then inexplicably consume your weight in food in one sitting. Just like that, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Gifts: isn't it a great gesture to have a whole city/country/continent buying things at the same time? The jammed shopping centres, the queues, the traffic jams... And giving presents is the high of my Christmas, but wouldn't it be nicer to give and receive presents evenly throughout the year instead of supporting extreme consumerism in a day?

People in general: there's excess of people everywhere during Christmas. The rest of the year everyone does their own thing, but Christmas is the only time when we all seem to be doing the same things at the same time. I've mentioned about the shopping, but there's so much more... The dining (restaurants are full and service is bad), the strolling (streets and parked packed), the free timing (queues in cinemas)...

Please, don't take this attitude of excess into January by signing up to the gym or going crazy with the sales. Just try to spend more time with your close family and true friends, show them your smile and try to enjoy a moderately happy live.

Spellbound Selves

You know that moment, at a party or in a club, when everyone around you is utterly drunk and you are as sober as a judge? When you witness people embarrassing themselves to a point where you really hope they won't remember when their intoxication drops? People who you thought you knew pretty well impersonating someone else. It's like looking at long-time friends for the very first time.

It seems that the exact same thing happens when everyone around you is in a relationship and you are single.

This thought came into my mind during these festive days, when I spend an unusual amount of time with people I otherwise rarely see (note to self: this is material for a blogpost). I'm sure that they have experienced the change gradually, but for me, it comes as a shock. The guy who had us all heartbroken by playing 'hard to get', has turned into a puppet under the orders of the lady holding the strings. He keeps running from one place to another like a loyal puppy following her orders. He's not alone. The once professed and active feminist is now responding to nicknames ranging from "Princess" to "Babe" and using terms of the kind of "my Little Muffin". Personal interests seem to vanish to make room for joint activities: the great cook of the group now only bakes cupcakes. Or, in some cases, one of them absorbs the lifestyle of the other: the barbecue organiser now follows a strict vegetarian diet. 

When drunk, if we were able to watch ourselves from the side of sobriety, would we regret the person we become when bewitched like this?

When in a relationship, if we were able to watch ourselves from the side of singlehood, would we regret the person we become when bewitched like this?

Singlehood Discrimination

Dear Single Friends,

When our relationship status triggers the envy of those around us, stay cool; play along. Live up to their idealised image of our freedom. Rejoice in not having to explain your whereabouts; in doing whatever you want whenever you want. Make sure to tell them about that trip you're planning on taking: narrate every detail and, above all, don't forget to omit the fact that you might never get to go because you have no one to embark in the adventure with. 

Because despite our stereotyped ideal life, the truth is that this world is not meant for singles. And I'm not only talking about St. Valentine's Day, but every other day as well. So, even if by force and not by choice, build the strength required to deal with the unfairness in life:

• married couples (2 people, 2 current/saving accounts) get furniture and home decor as wedding presents. We single people (1 person, 1 poor current/savings account) have to buy everything for the house by ourselves - don't get me started on buying a house
• people get that pitiful look in their faces when your shopping basket consists of lots of bags with single items: 1 tomato, 1 apple, 1 banana, etc.
• constantly answering the question "do you have a partner?" followed by "don't worry, someone will come when the time is right" - I wasn't worried, but thanks
• 5L washing detergent = 10 euro. 1L washing detergent = 5 euro - logic behind this? Food in smaller packages is more expensive!
• 2 x 1
• milk goes sour
• getting pulled into things you don't want to do because people assume that you are single and therefore free to babysit their plants - if I don't have plants myself it's for a reason!
• being moved around in planes because you are "travelling alone"
• ...

Single friends, you'll find a number of obstacles that our 'coupled' friends will never even think about, but remember: 

you are enough

...even if the world insists in making you feel differently

My Enviable Superpower

"I have the power." Or more specifically, I have the superpower. I've had it for a while now, although only intermittently. However, since I moved to Madrid it hasn't left. It's permanency has triggered this public confession.

What superpower? you might be asking yourselves. Well, I'm not one who brags, but let me tell you that this superpower is the one who every human being longs for. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado I present you with my superpower:

I am INVISIBLE!

Yep! For some time now, I've had a sneaking suspicion that I was unseeable, based on a number of inescapable clues:

• repeatedly getting stepped on and pushed when using the public transport

• obtaining dead silence when greeting good mornings and good evenings

• people pushing-in when diligently queuing

• my place got taken in the café when I stood up to get some water (my food, mobile and jacket were still there)

• being spoken over

And then, the other day my suspicion was fully confirmed. Here is what happened:

I was gripping to the bus bar to avoid falling over (riding a bus in Madrid can be considered an activity of high risk) and suddenly felt a hand on top of mine. Not close or barely touching, no, on top! and the bus wasn't that crowded!

Long story short and the main takeaway for everyone: I am here! as creepy and enviable as that may sound...

Stages in Life

My extended family only get together in two yearly occasions: Christmas and my Grandma's birthday. With still some months to the former, we met this week to celebrate the latter. Four generations around 86 candles, which were heroically blown by the woman who has given birth to no less than 10 children! You can now more realistically picture the amount of attendants to the event (and know the reason why we don't meet more often...). With four generations present on the night, there were representatives of all ages, giving me the opportunity of seeing life through their eyes for the duration of our conversation. All having a completely different view of the same world we all live in...

After gathering bits and pieces of the night, I reached the conclusion that life is lived in 4 different stages.

1. Flowing Life

Ages: newborn - 14

These are the years where you 'go with the flow'. Your parents determine your days, when and where you come and go, what times you eat or what you buy. You have little sense of time or perspective. Life is lived through others. At the end of this phase and after a bad hormonal kick, your environment becomes your war and you take up arms against literally everything. 

2. Theoretical Life

Ages: 15 - 29

Not liking anything in your life, you begin to imagine the great things that you fail to have and start to cook up the great plan that will lead you to a life of rainbows. You make being a free spirit your life purpose and firmly believe that all you want in life is to burn bridges and travel around the world with no other baggage than your own soul. And because anything that remotely resembles a responsibility is a clear threat to your plan, you run away from any form of commitment. You picture yourself leading a successful career doing what you love to do.

3. Fall-Rise-Fall-Rise Life

Ages: 30 - 69

But then life gives you a reality check. You realise how difficult things are, the amount of unfairness in this world. And you fall and rise again because there is no other option. And then you fall once more and have to come out from the deepest holes to stand back on your two feet; until you're knocked right out again. And rise. And fall. And rise...You become wiser and gaining a privileged perspective that leads on to the following stage.

4. Observant Life

Ages: 70 and above

With a tired body and an experienced soul, you become to live life through others (family, friends, acquaintances, actors, strangers...). Your only problems are theirs and your happiness is to witness their own bliss. 

A Life in Numbers

It has been almost a year since I started this blog; since I made the decision to laugh at myself and life.

Wait, that would make it almost a year since I turned 30! Which can only mean that in a few days time... Oh Lord! Let's just say none of us is getting any younger...

This thought has given me a sudden urge to look back and evaluate (and question) what on earth have I done with all of these days? They escape like sand through my fingers.

Why do we do this? Why do we count things? Why do we enjoy so much keeping track of time to celebrate thresholds? But we do. Even unconsciously we do. I think that that first "when do we arrive?" from the back of our parent's car is what triggers a live constructed around counts...

A life in numbers. My life in numbers:

• 7 months without a drop of Diet Coke - I used to drink an average of 3 cans per day
• 10 hours of sleep - It's Sunday
• 20 minute swim
• 15 items in my shopping list
• 84% of battery in my laptop
• 8 emails in my inbox
• 29 degrees Celsius
• 4 more days to see my niece
• 20:11 of 10th of August of 2014

Would stop counting make it all count?

Ignorance is Bliss

There is a magnifying mirror in my parent's house. Not a normal magnifying mirror, but one where I swear you would be able to see the deepest layer of your skin if you stare at it for more than a minute. I haven't been able to look into that mirror for that long. The second my eyes caught sight of my face in it, I turned away. Scared.  

This revealing mirror got me thinking that more often than not, it's better to live alien to certain truths. I don't mean that we should all lie (not even white lies), no, I'm a very honest person. What I mean is that, occasionally, ignorance is a direct cause of happiness. A few very personal illustrations of this point:

1. Dental surgery - I truly believe I am a happier person without knowing the details of what happened in the 2 hours I was anesthesised
2. Santa -  the confusion of finding a Barbie hidden in my parents' wardrobe a few days before seeing it under the tree and the consequent revelation of years of false beliefs
3. Sales - they can ruin the excitement of owning a pair of gorgeous shoes, when seeing them half price a few weeks later
4. Food - I trust that you're all familiar with the ingredients that go into the very Spanish black pudding or outrageously expensive French foie? And I don't want to know any of the translations for the delicious plates I tried in Tokyo...
5. Relationships - if he ever stupidly slipped, he can live with the guilt. I'm not a priest, you won't be forgiven upon confession
6. Judgmental people - I prefer living not knowing what you think about me. I don't care
   
   and of course, the thing that started this post in the first place..
7. Magnifying mirror - my happy little world of ignorance perverted by the blunt truth

So trust me when I say that:

"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with."

Foreigner in Home City

Three days ago, I moved to Madrid after six years in Dublin. As I navigate through this confusing roller coaster of feeling a foreigner in my home city, I come shockingly aware of what I love from both cities.

What I knew I'd miss

Madrid  

• family (duh!)
• weather (double duh! - I'm writing this from a terrace and it's 28ºC)
• the taste (and size) of tomatoes

Dublin

• friends (you know who you are)
• everything being walking distance from everything else
• Irish politeness
• Irish accent

What I wouldn't have thought I'd miss

Madrid

• visible signs with street names (I know which street I am in!)
• pedestrians walking with bread on one hand and  the newspaper on the other
• the smell of coffee and toast every morning on the streets

Dublin

• looking right when crossing a street (it's a matter of life or death that I adapt!)
• Penney's (where will I buy cheap tights?)
• not getting weird looks when you pay €3 by card

I'll have more to add to the list as I learn to live in this new place which is now my home.

Old News = No News

One of the reasons why I read, almost exclusively, fiction is due to the easiness with which I get attached to characters. I cry, I get angry, I take sides and, in many cases, I finish books with a strong urge to know more about the characters' day to day lives beyond the final pages. I can't, I know, so I make peace with the fact that it's fiction, that anything can happen after I close the book. That they not always lived happily ever after.

I like that, I like fiction. I favour it over to real life events. In real life I find myself at a loss, unable follow a story from beginning to end.  Today's news is all that matters; which by default means that no one cares about what happened yesterday.

But what if we do? People of the media, don't you realise that you're playing with our feelings (and not in a good way)? Please, let me know! I do care!

Why and how did Jack The Ripper get away with all the murders?  

How's Schumacher and his family coping?

What's the deal with Woody Allen and his 'peculiar' family situation? Did he really do what he was accused of? 

What is Monica Lewinsky up to these days?

Is there a monster in Loch Ness? 

Are Michael Jackson's children ok? Will they be ever able to have a 'normal' life? 

Everyone knows about Will Smith and that poor James Avery (Uncle Phil) sadly passed away a few months back. But what about 'Geoffrey' the Butler? How is my favourite person in the the Fresh Price of Bel Air getting on? 

What's behind the Bermuda Triangle?  

Was the prostitute Hugh Grant was caught with ever able to build a better life?

What happened between Britney Spears deciding to shave her head not so long ago to her being back on stage again? Who's minding those poor kids of hers?

Did Neil Armstrong and the Apollo 11 really land on the moon in July 1969?

Please people, I need closure?

Things I Think

There are things I think when I shouldn't think them. 

After closing the front door:

do I have the keys - without which I am locked out, since there is no one else who has a copy - except for the landlord, whom I prefer not to disturb with my 
absentmindedness

At a minimum travelling distance from home of 45 mins by car:

did I unplug the iron that could cause my whole place to burn down?

did I blow out all the aromatic candles that give my home such an amazing fragrance and  at the same time can turn it to ashes in a matter of seconds?

did I close the window through which anyone can freely enter the house?

All tucked in and with the lights out:

did I send that extremely important email that had to go out today with no exception and that I have spent hours drafting?

after paying for that last thing, did I put my credit card back in my wallet? 

I have all of these things I need to do tomorrow [list starts here - sleep stops here] 

Let's go through every stupid decision I have made in life. 

And of course, my personal favourite and the one I keep experiencing:

At least 15 minutes after the actual event:

the most perfect thing to say that would have saved you from looking like an idiot comes up to your blank mind!

Let's badge it!

Walking down the streets on any given day, a stampede of working souls, who can't seem to get home soon enough, rush in every direction. All with a distinctive feature: a label hanging from their necks. Literally, not metaphorically. Call it label, call it badge, call it what you want... It all serves the same purpose: openly displaying information.

Here is my proposal: if we are to disclose information, do it in a way that it'll benefit society as a whole. Tell the world something that will help them. It would save so much time and efforts! Efficiency, people, efficiency.

I'll illustrate this using myself as an example. My chest would proudly exhibit the following (not exclusively, but enough for you to get a sense of what I mean):

• Good with faces, terrible with names
• Don't care about the size - or number, for that matter - of your house, car, [enter material possession]
• People who are happy all of the time scare me
• Sometimes a glass of wine is the high of my day
• Happiness is a good book and a milky tea
• If you think you're better than someone else, don't come closer
• ...

Are you in? 

Think that it will work both ways. I sure know that my my life would have been so much better if I knew up-front some of the things I only got to learn the hard way... 

• "can't keep promises" 
• "will lie behind your back" 
• "my life is build around smoking"
• "fake"
• "will betray"
• ...

 

Let's make the world a better place, let's badge it!

Around the world in 8 days

My recent business trip goes like this:

Dublin > Bucharest (via London) > Prague > Krakow (via Warsaw) > Dublin > Barcelona > Dublin.

8 flights in 7 days

The business trip really goes like this:

Dublin > Bucharest (via London) > Prague > Krakow (via Warsaw) > 3 hrs delayed flight and finally cancelled at 1am = 6hrs at a crowded gate > frentic booking of new flights and hotels > infinite sleepless hours > Barcelona (via Munich) > Dublin.

8 flights in 7 days that really feel like 100!!

The joys of travelling!

Anyway, my intention is not to complain, but to share with you what I have taken from each one of these amazing cities ("it's not about the destination, but about what you learn on the way" - or something like this).

BUCHAREST: ITS PEOPLE

Attributes:

· Polite

· Talkative - the ratio of time question:answer is normally 1:100

· Insist in speaking to me in Romanian - do I look Romanian?

Live experience: 

witnessed a group of around 8 men working as a team to change a bulb. Yes, it apparently takes those many to perform a mundane task.

PRAGUE: ITS FAÇADES

Attributes: 

· Diverse.

· Colourful.

· Beautiful

Live experience: 

Regretting not having my camera with me (the camera did not fit in my hand baggage) I had my phone permanently in my hands to be able to capture the magnificent houses. So immersed in them, that my fingers went numb because of the cold and was unable to feel or grab a thing for an hour or two.

KRAKOW : ITS TAXI DRIVERS

Attributes: 

· No English. 

· No notion of speed limits. 

· Wonder if even a driver's license...

Live experience: 

or 'close to death' experience rather...as the taxi driver stops (hand brake!) in the middle of a motorway (yes!) and tries to cross over 3 lanes, in an attempt to take an intersection which us, mentally healthy humans, would consider missed. All of this at rush traffic hour and with a massive lorry approaching on the right. I'm writing this now, so don't worry, we made it through.

BARCELONA : ITS WEATHER

Attributes: 

· Cloudless sky 

· No need for further description

Live experience: 

The flight disruption mentioned earlier meant that I had slept approximately 1 hour in 2 days. I wasn't only knackered, but was also in a questionable (yet justified) mood. And then, I landed in Barcelona, where the sun was shining. Walked around the city and had a lovely lunch on a terrace by the sea. I found happiness. Spain is different!

New Year's Resolutions

It is the time to think about them, to plan them, to write them down, to do whatever you think will work this time around, because, this year, you are going to stick to your resolutions. Or are you?

Today, 28th December, we Spaniards celebrate el Día de los Inocentes. It's what you might know as 'April Fools' Day', but in Spain it is celebrated in December. 'Spain is different', they say. A good day to think about 2014's resolutions, because who are we fooling? Most of them will forever remain as good intentions.

This year I am not making any lists, I won't trick myself into thinking that a new year can trigger a new life. After all, every day is a fresh start, every single day is an opportunity to become a better version of myself. 

This year I aim to stick to my sole and only resolution: do more of what makes me happy. 

As simple as that. No unachievable idealisms. No becoming someone that I am not. I'll water 2014 with white wine, clear it of toxic people and fill it of shared moments with family and real friends. The soundtrack will be that of the loudest laughters.

I hereby commit to investing all of my energy, time, effort and other resources in being happy.