Lost in Translation

When I told my Grandma that I was moving to the US, the first thing she said was: 

"You'll have the opportunity to learn English."

English being my second language since the early age of 4, I couldn't help but laugh.

Less than a week in US territory, I am laughing no more. 

I've become a human Wikipedia, having to explain what my British English words pronounced in a broken Irish accent are failing to express.

     · The place where your clothes go is not a wardrobe, but a closet.

     · You ask for the restrooms when you want to go to the toilet.

     · The elevator lifts you up building floors.

     · Fall is the new autumn.

     · Supermarkets don't have trolleys, but carts.

     · Rubbish is put in trash cans.

     · If you have a sweet tooth, you would want some candy.

     · When you want take away from restaurants you order take-out.

     · City center signs read downtown.

     · ...

And don't get me started on the spelling: replacing 's' with 'z' or erasing 'u' in words like flavour and colour.

Or the metric system. My head is currently a molotov cocktail of inches, Fahrenheit, pounds, feet...

Indeed Grandma, indeed, I will be learning English.

Things I Think

There are things I think when I shouldn't think them. 

After closing the front door:

do I have the keys - without which I am locked out, since there is no one else who has a copy - except for the landlord, whom I prefer not to disturb with my 
absentmindedness

At a minimum travelling distance from home of 45 mins by car:

did I unplug the iron that could cause my whole place to burn down?

did I blow out all the aromatic candles that give my home such an amazing fragrance and  at the same time can turn it to ashes in a matter of seconds?

did I close the window through which anyone can freely enter the house?

All tucked in and with the lights out:

did I send that extremely important email that had to go out today with no exception and that I have spent hours drafting?

after paying for that last thing, did I put my credit card back in my wallet? 

I have all of these things I need to do tomorrow [list starts here - sleep stops here] 

Let's go through every stupid decision I have made in life. 

And of course, my personal favourite and the one I keep experiencing:

At least 15 minutes after the actual event:

the most perfect thing to say that would have saved you from looking like an idiot comes up to your blank mind!

Unexpected Item in Bagging Area

Just back from the supermarket:

• Interaction with people = 0
• One-sided communication with machine = repeatedly. We don't seem to get along.
• Workload added on me = 100%

Conclusion: my grocery shopping has become highly antisocial and the amount of work that I now how have to do thanks to auto-machines has increased. At my regular grocery store there are now more auto-checkout machine points (7 last time I counted) than ones with 'real' people (1 and only). 

Sure, not having someone emptying your basket has it has its advantages. One of which being the protection of privacy. I can buy whatever I want without getting feeling judged by the person on the other side of the checkout. (Am I the only one who feels like this when having an employee go through your purchases?). On the other hand, I am forced to unload my trolley, scan my items and then bag and remove them. I find this whole process slow and very stressful, as the breathing from the next person in the line becomes louder and closer. I feel sweat running down my forehead whenever I hear "unexpected item in the bagging area, remove this item before continuing". My hands shake every time I take more than 3 seconds to locate the scan code. Stressful!

And it is only the start of it. Machines are taking over. The other day I was in a UK airport and I had to check in my baggage by myself. You know how simple the task of printing the bag tag and sticking it on a handle looks from the outside? Well, not so much when you're doing it yourself... I had no faith at all that my bag would make it to my destination. All those instructions in a simple sticker! Needless to say that I my respect towards ground hostesses has increased significantly.

I don't know what next will robots allow (force?) us to do, but in the meantime, I be reminded that every job requires skills and that not everyone is equally prepared to perform even the simplest tasks. Oh, and please give me some time and space when I'm paying for my groceries. Thank you.

Around the world in 8 days

My recent business trip goes like this:

Dublin > Bucharest (via London) > Prague > Krakow (via Warsaw) > Dublin > Barcelona > Dublin.

8 flights in 7 days

The business trip really goes like this:

Dublin > Bucharest (via London) > Prague > Krakow (via Warsaw) > 3 hrs delayed flight and finally cancelled at 1am = 6hrs at a crowded gate > frentic booking of new flights and hotels > infinite sleepless hours > Barcelona (via Munich) > Dublin.

8 flights in 7 days that really feel like 100!!

The joys of travelling!

Anyway, my intention is not to complain, but to share with you what I have taken from each one of these amazing cities ("it's not about the destination, but about what you learn on the way" - or something like this).

BUCHAREST: ITS PEOPLE

Attributes:

· Polite

· Talkative - the ratio of time question:answer is normally 1:100

· Insist in speaking to me in Romanian - do I look Romanian?

Live experience: 

witnessed a group of around 8 men working as a team to change a bulb. Yes, it apparently takes those many to perform a mundane task.

PRAGUE: ITS FAÇADES

Attributes: 

· Diverse.

· Colourful.

· Beautiful

Live experience: 

Regretting not having my camera with me (the camera did not fit in my hand baggage) I had my phone permanently in my hands to be able to capture the magnificent houses. So immersed in them, that my fingers went numb because of the cold and was unable to feel or grab a thing for an hour or two.

KRAKOW : ITS TAXI DRIVERS

Attributes: 

· No English. 

· No notion of speed limits. 

· Wonder if even a driver's license...

Live experience: 

or 'close to death' experience rather...as the taxi driver stops (hand brake!) in the middle of a motorway (yes!) and tries to cross over 3 lanes, in an attempt to take an intersection which us, mentally healthy humans, would consider missed. All of this at rush traffic hour and with a massive lorry approaching on the right. I'm writing this now, so don't worry, we made it through.

BARCELONA : ITS WEATHER

Attributes: 

· Cloudless sky 

· No need for further description

Live experience: 

The flight disruption mentioned earlier meant that I had slept approximately 1 hour in 2 days. I wasn't only knackered, but was also in a questionable (yet justified) mood. And then, I landed in Barcelona, where the sun was shining. Walked around the city and had a lovely lunch on a terrace by the sea. I found happiness. Spain is different!