Legal Alien

Sting's song suddenly fell into place: I too am a 'legal alien'. 

In fact, I had to repeatedly state so by checking the box beside this new denomination of myself when filling in the never-ending number of forms and documents required to come to the U.S.

I won't lie, at first it felt weird to be classified as such. Then again, I can't remember the last time I felt such an outsider as I feel now. So I guess I really am an alien. Now that all my paperwork has been correctly submitted and processed, I am here legally. Thus: I am a legal alien.

The journey has been more arduous than I had anticipated. People blame fairytales for setting false expectations on love. I blame the whole film industry and media for portraying America as the model every nation should pursue. I was expecting some language particularities, but came to believe that things here worked smooth and flawlessly. These few months here have surely debunked my assumptions.

Banking system

When opening my account I was repeatedly made aware of the fact that my new account awarded me with 4 (exactly 4) checks! But I was to fret not, cause I was able to request more when needed. As I listened to the sales representative, my head was nodding politely, but my mind was having a hard time remembering the last time I had ever seen a check. I'm pretty sure it was at least 30 years ago.
In the country where the internet was invented, people still use checks daily.

Public Transport
I wondered why in a smallish city like this one, people still owned cars. The short answer is: unreliable public transport. Why is there even a bus schedule? One thing I'd say, though, all of the drivers I've encountered are super nice and helpful. So much that they seem to stop wherever it suits the person getting out. True story. 

Home Appliances
The kitchen is the biggest room in every house. Some may argue this allows to accommodate family and social gatherings. I have come to the conclusion that it's rather to accommodate humongous home appliances. No matter how much food I store, my fridge always looks empty. I don't even bother using the dishwasher, the sum of all of my table, cooking and kitchenware fail to load it fully. Yet, I'm still to make sense of the fact that apartments come with no washing machines!

The list goes on and on: prices (I'm talking $9 for 4 kiwis!? $5 for a small coffee!? and I won't even mention what I pay for my poorly-proportioned-with-huge-kitchen apartment...), size of cars, online orders left outside apartment buildings...

And yet, there is no other placer I would rather be :)

Bad Karma

Disclaimer: I do love this city. I'm enchanted with its beauty and I'm keen in making others see it as well :)

Living in a big city is really getting to me. It's draining all of my positive energy. The same one that I've taken years to nurture. It was easier  when I lived in a cute little small city where everyone was full of 'thank you' and 'thanks' and 'grand'.  

Ever since I moved here I sense this pervasive flow of negative energy in the air. We're all exposed to its non-discriminatory force. Once caught it spreads from person to person instantly. The most immediate reaction is the urge to give out. About everything. About anything. Vision and perspective of life is concealed by a dark layer and a strong impulse of sharing it with others grows. Soon those around mimic this attitude and so on and so on.

The lovely warm sun rays become unbearable hot weapons.

The atmosphere cleaning rain confine people between walls and awakes joint pain.

The colourful mood-boosting spring triggers allergies of all sorts.

... And like this with everything. 

I don't want to get caught in this! I'll continue with my fight for immunity, counteracting with smiles, good thoughts and better actions. 

I need however, to be extra careful! Just the other day I caught myself swearing when a car in front of me did a weird turn that forced me to abruptly brake. 

In a jungle of noise, lights, children shouting and grownups rushing around, how does one feed and grow inner peace? I'm determined to find out.

The Proud Misfit

I am

• ... a woman
• ... self-sufficient
• ... in my thirties
• ... single
• ... left-handed (but that's a story for another day)

Long story short, I am a MISFIT.

Living in a city where I am the living exception to the rule. This fact grants me the privileged position of being the target of awkward (and quite frankly, in many cases rude) comments, questions and moments all around the same theme: 

"What am I doing with my life??"

And although at the beginning all these comments made me want to climb under my duvet and cry myself blind; wisdom (actually, no, not wisdom, but rather, not giving a damn - for the use of a better word) has made me realise that not being like others is what gives me an identity.

I have accepted that I am where I have to be and made my mission to make others accept this too. Listen up:

• the only babies/toddlers I like are the ones I share some part of DNA with. And even those, I am happy to give back after a while
• no, I'm not worried about finding someone - last time I checked I hadn't lost anything
• the time when I felt the loneliest is when I had (the wrong kind of) someone by my side

• stop asking me whether I have a partner! Not having one does not make me a defective person and it certainly does not define me
• defining me by my relationship status says more about you than it does about me
• yes, I might be picky, but shouldn't you be with the person you decide to share your life with?
• I'm not sure if destiny has something good waiting for me, what I do know is that the best way to predict the future is to create it. I wouldn't be where I am if I had left things to chance instead of working by butt off!
• in the past 10 years or so I've lived in 5 different cities, met people for more countries that I know existed and seen places I had only dreamed of visiting. No, I don't feel like I'm throwing my life away
• I've found a passion and I'm pursuing a dream. I'm not trying to get you to follow my dream, so quit trying to single me out for not wanting to follow yours.

This is my life and I am working on being happy to be living it.

Singlehood Discrimination

Dear Single Friends,

When our relationship status triggers the envy of those around us, stay cool; play along. Live up to their idealised image of our freedom. Rejoice in not having to explain your whereabouts; in doing whatever you want whenever you want. Make sure to tell them about that trip you're planning on taking: narrate every detail and, above all, don't forget to omit the fact that you might never get to go because you have no one to embark in the adventure with. 

Because despite our stereotyped ideal life, the truth is that this world is not meant for singles. And I'm not only talking about St. Valentine's Day, but every other day as well. So, even if by force and not by choice, build the strength required to deal with the unfairness in life:

• married couples (2 people, 2 current/saving accounts) get furniture and home decor as wedding presents. We single people (1 person, 1 poor current/savings account) have to buy everything for the house by ourselves - don't get me started on buying a house
• people get that pitiful look in their faces when your shopping basket consists of lots of bags with single items: 1 tomato, 1 apple, 1 banana, etc.
• constantly answering the question "do you have a partner?" followed by "don't worry, someone will come when the time is right" - I wasn't worried, but thanks
• 5L washing detergent = 10 euro. 1L washing detergent = 5 euro - logic behind this? Food in smaller packages is more expensive!
• 2 x 1
• milk goes sour
• getting pulled into things you don't want to do because people assume that you are single and therefore free to babysit their plants - if I don't have plants myself it's for a reason!
• being moved around in planes because you are "travelling alone"
• ...

Single friends, you'll find a number of obstacles that our 'coupled' friends will never even think about, but remember: 

you are enough

...even if the world insists in making you feel differently

Summer Expectations

Summer officially started a few days back.  The season of long days and warm nights, of holidays and sun and beaches and blue skies, happiness, smiles... or at least this is the picture many of us paint in our minds, whilst being faced with a different reality.

They say that the secret of happiness is low expectations. But let's be honest, we get carried away more often than not. And perhaps more so in Summer :)

Lunch on the Beach

· Expectation: sitting under the shade of an umbrella, looking over the blue horizon with the soundtrack of the waves coming in and out the shore...In summary: this.

· Reality: umbrella blows away, sand gets all over the food and inside the drink, which by the way is all heated up by the sun and resembles to mulled wine.

Happily Strolling
· Expectation: clear skies, long days, time to walk everywhere, enjoying the warm kiss of the sun.
· Reality: 6pm 40ºC A 20m distance to the nearest bus stop takes 20 minutes. It's a miracle that your muscles are responding under such heat.

Summery Clothes
· Expectation: goodbye tights, sleeves, trousers, jumpers... hello flowery dresses, sandals, t-shirts!
· Reality: it's going into supermarkets, shopping centres, cinemas, public transport and well, any building really, and you are transported to the Arctic. What's with the air-con, people?

Months of Sunshine
· Expectation: you've survived months of rain, wind, cold, dull days and finally here is the longed for reward. Weeks of happiness ahead.
· Reality: and suddenly shops start putting up the Christmas decorations. Where does time go?


Nothing lasts forever. Make the most of the things you love because you won't be able to enjoy them forever; and don't let the ones that do harm bring you down, because they too will disappear. Happy Summer!

Ignorance is Bliss

There is a magnifying mirror in my parent's house. Not a normal magnifying mirror, but one where I swear you would be able to see the deepest layer of your skin if you stare at it for more than a minute. I haven't been able to look into that mirror for that long. The second my eyes caught sight of my face in it, I turned away. Scared.  

This revealing mirror got me thinking that more often than not, it's better to live alien to certain truths. I don't mean that we should all lie (not even white lies), no, I'm a very honest person. What I mean is that, occasionally, ignorance is a direct cause of happiness. A few very personal illustrations of this point:

1. Dental surgery - I truly believe I am a happier person without knowing the details of what happened in the 2 hours I was anesthesised
2. Santa -  the confusion of finding a Barbie hidden in my parents' wardrobe a few days before seeing it under the tree and the consequent revelation of years of false beliefs
3. Sales - they can ruin the excitement of owning a pair of gorgeous shoes, when seeing them half price a few weeks later
4. Food - I trust that you're all familiar with the ingredients that go into the very Spanish black pudding or outrageously expensive French foie? And I don't want to know any of the translations for the delicious plates I tried in Tokyo...
5. Relationships - if he ever stupidly slipped, he can live with the guilt. I'm not a priest, you won't be forgiven upon confession
6. Judgmental people - I prefer living not knowing what you think about me. I don't care
   
   and of course, the thing that started this post in the first place..
7. Magnifying mirror - my happy little world of ignorance perverted by the blunt truth

So trust me when I say that:

"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with."

Flavours in Life

I've made up my mind: lemon is my favourite yogurt flavour. 

It has been a hard decision to make: too many options, all of which challenge the very best of my taste buds. Let's be honest, lemon yogurts taste very little of lemon (don't get me started on the banana ones which I only know are banana because of the picture on the pot...)

This absurd logic got me thinking about all the disappointment that the food industry has created in the short distance between the supermarket aisle and the comfort of my sofa - or dining table if there is someone with me and I actually have to eat my meals at a table (which by the way, according to every health article published, we all should.) 

We're humans; we're logical beings; our brain is programmed to do admirable things. Why then, do we so blindly fall into false beliefs? 

"I like peach. I like yogurt. Hmm, I must like peach-flavoured yogurt. I will buy peach-flavoured yogurt"

Right? Wrong! - there is nothing less peachy than a peach-flavoured yogurt, ice-cream, lollipop, [you name it!]

The issue is more dramatic when you try the flavoured food first. I can only imagine the pleasure I would have missed if I had had prawn-cocktail crisps before ever sinking a fork into a deliciously natural prawn cocktail - mouth is literally watering.

Take note my dear friends of this little piece of advice: do not set expectations when it comes to flavoured food - you'll live happily ever after!

Let's badge it!

Walking down the streets on any given day, a stampede of working souls, who can't seem to get home soon enough, rush in every direction. All with a distinctive feature: a label hanging from their necks. Literally, not metaphorically. Call it label, call it badge, call it what you want... It all serves the same purpose: openly displaying information.

Here is my proposal: if we are to disclose information, do it in a way that it'll benefit society as a whole. Tell the world something that will help them. It would save so much time and efforts! Efficiency, people, efficiency.

I'll illustrate this using myself as an example. My chest would proudly exhibit the following (not exclusively, but enough for you to get a sense of what I mean):

• Good with faces, terrible with names
• Don't care about the size - or number, for that matter - of your house, car, [enter material possession]
• People who are happy all of the time scare me
• Sometimes a glass of wine is the high of my day
• Happiness is a good book and a milky tea
• If you think you're better than someone else, don't come closer
• ...

Are you in? 

Think that it will work both ways. I sure know that my my life would have been so much better if I knew up-front some of the things I only got to learn the hard way... 

• "can't keep promises" 
• "will lie behind your back" 
• "my life is build around smoking"
• "fake"
• "will betray"
• ...

 

Let's make the world a better place, let's badge it!

Around the world in 8 days

My recent business trip goes like this:

Dublin > Bucharest (via London) > Prague > Krakow (via Warsaw) > Dublin > Barcelona > Dublin.

8 flights in 7 days

The business trip really goes like this:

Dublin > Bucharest (via London) > Prague > Krakow (via Warsaw) > 3 hrs delayed flight and finally cancelled at 1am = 6hrs at a crowded gate > frentic booking of new flights and hotels > infinite sleepless hours > Barcelona (via Munich) > Dublin.

8 flights in 7 days that really feel like 100!!

The joys of travelling!

Anyway, my intention is not to complain, but to share with you what I have taken from each one of these amazing cities ("it's not about the destination, but about what you learn on the way" - or something like this).

BUCHAREST: ITS PEOPLE

Attributes:

· Polite

· Talkative - the ratio of time question:answer is normally 1:100

· Insist in speaking to me in Romanian - do I look Romanian?

Live experience: 

witnessed a group of around 8 men working as a team to change a bulb. Yes, it apparently takes those many to perform a mundane task.

PRAGUE: ITS FAÇADES

Attributes: 

· Diverse.

· Colourful.

· Beautiful

Live experience: 

Regretting not having my camera with me (the camera did not fit in my hand baggage) I had my phone permanently in my hands to be able to capture the magnificent houses. So immersed in them, that my fingers went numb because of the cold and was unable to feel or grab a thing for an hour or two.

KRAKOW : ITS TAXI DRIVERS

Attributes: 

· No English. 

· No notion of speed limits. 

· Wonder if even a driver's license...

Live experience: 

or 'close to death' experience rather...as the taxi driver stops (hand brake!) in the middle of a motorway (yes!) and tries to cross over 3 lanes, in an attempt to take an intersection which us, mentally healthy humans, would consider missed. All of this at rush traffic hour and with a massive lorry approaching on the right. I'm writing this now, so don't worry, we made it through.

BARCELONA : ITS WEATHER

Attributes: 

· Cloudless sky 

· No need for further description

Live experience: 

The flight disruption mentioned earlier meant that I had slept approximately 1 hour in 2 days. I wasn't only knackered, but was also in a questionable (yet justified) mood. And then, I landed in Barcelona, where the sun was shining. Walked around the city and had a lovely lunch on a terrace by the sea. I found happiness. Spain is different!

New Year's Resolutions

It is the time to think about them, to plan them, to write them down, to do whatever you think will work this time around, because, this year, you are going to stick to your resolutions. Or are you?

Today, 28th December, we Spaniards celebrate el Día de los Inocentes. It's what you might know as 'April Fools' Day', but in Spain it is celebrated in December. 'Spain is different', they say. A good day to think about 2014's resolutions, because who are we fooling? Most of them will forever remain as good intentions.

This year I am not making any lists, I won't trick myself into thinking that a new year can trigger a new life. After all, every day is a fresh start, every single day is an opportunity to become a better version of myself. 

This year I aim to stick to my sole and only resolution: do more of what makes me happy. 

As simple as that. No unachievable idealisms. No becoming someone that I am not. I'll water 2014 with white wine, clear it of toxic people and fill it of shared moments with family and real friends. The soundtrack will be that of the loudest laughters.

I hereby commit to investing all of my energy, time, effort and other resources in being happy.

My Weekend Plans

When the end of the working week approaches, I fear the moment when I'll hear the foreseeable question: "Doing anything exciting this weekend?". I honestly need to think and mentally prepare for this from Mondays to be able to have something to casually drop as an answer that won't brand me for the rest of my days as being boring.

The truth is that the best of my weekends involve: a book, a cup of tea (or glass of white wine), a sofa and not much more. 

This, however, will mean my response to the dreaded question is: "Reading, drinking, lying and little more". 'Bliss' in my eyes; but I'm guessing 'exceedingly dull and uninteresting' for the listener. Not even when I go over the top and treat myself to a play in the theatre, succeeds in making a conversation out of my weekend plans. 

Let's be honest: sadly, more than half of the time, the person asking you about your weekend plans isn't the least interested in what you answer. They are either a) being polite; or b) longing for the cue "what about you?" to talk about themselves (oh, don't do people love talking about themselves...) 

This is why I have decided that the next time I hear "Doing anything exciting this weekend?" I'm going to completely ignore the social pressure around this topic and offer a frank answer that mentions all of the things I have no intention of doing (e.g. waking up early, making the watch rule my day, run from meeting to meeting) and all of the places I won't even consider setting foot on (e.g. the office, claustrophobic clubs).

I love weekends!