The Proud Misfit

I am

• ... a woman
• ... self-sufficient
• ... in my thirties
• ... single
• ... left-handed (but that's a story for another day)

Long story short, I am a MISFIT.

Living in a city where I am the living exception to the rule. This fact grants me the privileged position of being the target of awkward (and quite frankly, in many cases rude) comments, questions and moments all around the same theme: 

"What am I doing with my life??"

And although at the beginning all these comments made me want to climb under my duvet and cry myself blind; wisdom (actually, no, not wisdom, but rather, not giving a damn - for the use of a better word) has made me realise that not being like others is what gives me an identity.

I have accepted that I am where I have to be and made my mission to make others accept this too. Listen up:

• the only babies/toddlers I like are the ones I share some part of DNA with. And even those, I am happy to give back after a while
• no, I'm not worried about finding someone - last time I checked I hadn't lost anything
• the time when I felt the loneliest is when I had (the wrong kind of) someone by my side

• stop asking me whether I have a partner! Not having one does not make me a defective person and it certainly does not define me
• defining me by my relationship status says more about you than it does about me
• yes, I might be picky, but shouldn't you be with the person you decide to share your life with?
• I'm not sure if destiny has something good waiting for me, what I do know is that the best way to predict the future is to create it. I wouldn't be where I am if I had left things to chance instead of working by butt off!
• in the past 10 years or so I've lived in 5 different cities, met people for more countries that I know existed and seen places I had only dreamed of visiting. No, I don't feel like I'm throwing my life away
• I've found a passion and I'm pursuing a dream. I'm not trying to get you to follow my dream, so quit trying to single me out for not wanting to follow yours.

This is my life and I am working on being happy to be living it.

Stages in Life

My extended family only get together in two yearly occasions: Christmas and my Grandma's birthday. With still some months to the former, we met this week to celebrate the latter. Four generations around 86 candles, which were heroically blown by the woman who has given birth to no less than 10 children! You can now more realistically picture the amount of attendants to the event (and know the reason why we don't meet more often...). With four generations present on the night, there were representatives of all ages, giving me the opportunity of seeing life through their eyes for the duration of our conversation. All having a completely different view of the same world we all live in...

After gathering bits and pieces of the night, I reached the conclusion that life is lived in 4 different stages.

1. Flowing Life

Ages: newborn - 14

These are the years where you 'go with the flow'. Your parents determine your days, when and where you come and go, what times you eat or what you buy. You have little sense of time or perspective. Life is lived through others. At the end of this phase and after a bad hormonal kick, your environment becomes your war and you take up arms against literally everything. 

2. Theoretical Life

Ages: 15 - 29

Not liking anything in your life, you begin to imagine the great things that you fail to have and start to cook up the great plan that will lead you to a life of rainbows. You make being a free spirit your life purpose and firmly believe that all you want in life is to burn bridges and travel around the world with no other baggage than your own soul. And because anything that remotely resembles a responsibility is a clear threat to your plan, you run away from any form of commitment. You picture yourself leading a successful career doing what you love to do.

3. Fall-Rise-Fall-Rise Life

Ages: 30 - 69

But then life gives you a reality check. You realise how difficult things are, the amount of unfairness in this world. And you fall and rise again because there is no other option. And then you fall once more and have to come out from the deepest holes to stand back on your two feet; until you're knocked right out again. And rise. And fall. And rise...You become wiser and gaining a privileged perspective that leads on to the following stage.

4. Observant Life

Ages: 70 and above

With a tired body and an experienced soul, you become to live life through others (family, friends, acquaintances, actors, strangers...). Your only problems are theirs and your happiness is to witness their own bliss. 

Foreigner in Home City

Three days ago, I moved to Madrid after six years in Dublin. As I navigate through this confusing roller coaster of feeling a foreigner in my home city, I come shockingly aware of what I love from both cities.

What I knew I'd miss

Madrid  

• family (duh!)
• weather (double duh! - I'm writing this from a terrace and it's 28ºC)
• the taste (and size) of tomatoes

Dublin

• friends (you know who you are)
• everything being walking distance from everything else
• Irish politeness
• Irish accent

What I wouldn't have thought I'd miss

Madrid

• visible signs with street names (I know which street I am in!)
• pedestrians walking with bread on one hand and  the newspaper on the other
• the smell of coffee and toast every morning on the streets

Dublin

• looking right when crossing a street (it's a matter of life or death that I adapt!)
• Penney's (where will I buy cheap tights?)
• not getting weird looks when you pay €3 by card

I'll have more to add to the list as I learn to live in this new place which is now my home.

New Year's Resolutions

It is the time to think about them, to plan them, to write them down, to do whatever you think will work this time around, because, this year, you are going to stick to your resolutions. Or are you?

Today, 28th December, we Spaniards celebrate el Día de los Inocentes. It's what you might know as 'April Fools' Day', but in Spain it is celebrated in December. 'Spain is different', they say. A good day to think about 2014's resolutions, because who are we fooling? Most of them will forever remain as good intentions.

This year I am not making any lists, I won't trick myself into thinking that a new year can trigger a new life. After all, every day is a fresh start, every single day is an opportunity to become a better version of myself. 

This year I aim to stick to my sole and only resolution: do more of what makes me happy. 

As simple as that. No unachievable idealisms. No becoming someone that I am not. I'll water 2014 with white wine, clear it of toxic people and fill it of shared moments with family and real friends. The soundtrack will be that of the loudest laughters.

I hereby commit to investing all of my energy, time, effort and other resources in being happy.

Halloween's Coming

Tomorrow is Halloween, or as the song would say "Halloween's coming, Halloween's coming..."

Fear not, unlike the song, however, skeletons won't be after you, but rather sexy nurses, hot policewomen, sensual pirates, overly exaggerated breasted men (why do men always like to dress up as women?) and so on. Just make a search for 'Halloween costumes' on the web, the results are priceless. Actually, scratch that: do fear!

I do get the children's side to dressing up and getting sweets. I mean, it can't get better than being allowed to a sugar-high at the age of 6. And they do look cute in their pumpkin costumes and so on. What worries me is the adult (and increasing) part of this day.

If it were up to me, Halloween should be renamed to "dressing for who you'd like to be". It's basically the day were you are allowed to remain undisturbed with your appearance and what it might reveal, which, judging from the cleavage in some of those costumes, it is sometimes more that what others might want to see... It's not even any more about dressing up as zombies and ghosts (which I already find quite distasteful and senseless)!

The development, or rather, the deterioration of Halloween truly amazes me. As a Spaniard, I have been raised to believe that this is the day were we should remember and pay our respects to the loved ones who have sadly left. It is a tribute to those who were once physically close and now live solely in our memories. Families congregate in cemeteries to put fresh flowers on tombs, say a little prayer and shade a little tear or two. If you know how that might relate to a provocative pizza slice (how can those 3 words be together?), please let me know.

Happy Halloween people! (or whatever)