The Proud Misfit

I am

• ... a woman
• ... self-sufficient
• ... in my thirties
• ... single
• ... left-handed (but that's a story for another day)

Long story short, I am a MISFIT.

Living in a city where I am the living exception to the rule. This fact grants me the privileged position of being the target of awkward (and quite frankly, in many cases rude) comments, questions and moments all around the same theme: 

"What am I doing with my life??"

And although at the beginning all these comments made me want to climb under my duvet and cry myself blind; wisdom (actually, no, not wisdom, but rather, not giving a damn - for the use of a better word) has made me realise that not being like others is what gives me an identity.

I have accepted that I am where I have to be and made my mission to make others accept this too. Listen up:

• the only babies/toddlers I like are the ones I share some part of DNA with. And even those, I am happy to give back after a while
• no, I'm not worried about finding someone - last time I checked I hadn't lost anything
• the time when I felt the loneliest is when I had (the wrong kind of) someone by my side

• stop asking me whether I have a partner! Not having one does not make me a defective person and it certainly does not define me
• defining me by my relationship status says more about you than it does about me
• yes, I might be picky, but shouldn't you be with the person you decide to share your life with?
• I'm not sure if destiny has something good waiting for me, what I do know is that the best way to predict the future is to create it. I wouldn't be where I am if I had left things to chance instead of working by butt off!
• in the past 10 years or so I've lived in 5 different cities, met people for more countries that I know existed and seen places I had only dreamed of visiting. No, I don't feel like I'm throwing my life away
• I've found a passion and I'm pursuing a dream. I'm not trying to get you to follow my dream, so quit trying to single me out for not wanting to follow yours.

This is my life and I am working on being happy to be living it.

My Enviable Superpower

"I have the power." Or more specifically, I have the superpower. I've had it for a while now, although only intermittently. However, since I moved to Madrid it hasn't left. It's permanency has triggered this public confession.

What superpower? you might be asking yourselves. Well, I'm not one who brags, but let me tell you that this superpower is the one who every human being longs for. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado I present you with my superpower:

I am INVISIBLE!

Yep! For some time now, I've had a sneaking suspicion that I was unseeable, based on a number of inescapable clues:

• repeatedly getting stepped on and pushed when using the public transport

• obtaining dead silence when greeting good mornings and good evenings

• people pushing-in when diligently queuing

• my place got taken in the café when I stood up to get some water (my food, mobile and jacket were still there)

• being spoken over

And then, the other day my suspicion was fully confirmed. Here is what happened:

I was gripping to the bus bar to avoid falling over (riding a bus in Madrid can be considered an activity of high risk) and suddenly felt a hand on top of mine. Not close or barely touching, no, on top! and the bus wasn't that crowded!

Long story short and the main takeaway for everyone: I am here! as creepy and enviable as that may sound...

Earth, Please Swallow Me. Now.

The whole point to this blog is to laugh at myself, so I'll tell you about one of my worse kept secrets: I am clumsy. Very, very clumsy. With things - I'm known to have butter fingers -, with words and in situations.

Diagnosis

Clumsiness. Although not too keen on the definition of the word...

Symptoms

Physical

· red (and very hot) face

· blank stare to the floor

· special sensitivity to gravity - frequent flat ground falls

· there have been cases reported of 'run fast and hide' immediately after an episode

· unbalance

Psychological

· strong wish for the earth to part and swallow oneself

· inability of thinking anything other that 'f***!!'. Repeatedly and for the whole duration of the episode and beyond when remembering it.

Effects and Consequences

· random bruises

· embarrassment

· might be linked to losing friends

Examples of Episodes

Note: these are just a few samples from a long and growing list

• The Cherry Tomato Incident: too small to cut in pieces and yet not small enough to bite with a full closed mouth = spilling the whole inside of one over my lunch partner :)
• The Stairs: too many steps, too little coordination = bruised shins from falling up (yes, up!) the stairs
• The 50/50 chance: clear "pull" and "push" signs + brain reverse processing = pushing doors that are built to be pulled and vice versa
• The Social Network: too many information + too much procrastination = mentioning something to somebody that you only know from looking (stalking) their social network page
• The Car: too many good songs + too little care = shouting your heart out to "I Will Survive" just to find the driver next to you staring in amazement
• The Multitasking: too many things + too little time = finishing up a call with a client by saying, “Love you.”
• The Name: too many people + worse memory ever = forgetting the name of someone when you're introducing them 

Too clumsy + Too many times = a lot of embarrassing situations (but good fun!)