Legal Alien

Sting's song suddenly fell into place: I too am a 'legal alien'. 

In fact, I had to repeatedly state so by checking the box beside this new denomination of myself when filling in the never-ending number of forms and documents required to come to the U.S.

I won't lie, at first it felt weird to be classified as such. Then again, I can't remember the last time I felt such an outsider as I feel now. So I guess I really am an alien. Now that all my paperwork has been correctly submitted and processed, I am here legally. Thus: I am a legal alien.

The journey has been more arduous than I had anticipated. People blame fairytales for setting false expectations on love. I blame the whole film industry and media for portraying America as the model every nation should pursue. I was expecting some language particularities, but came to believe that things here worked smooth and flawlessly. These few months here have surely debunked my assumptions.

Banking system

When opening my account I was repeatedly made aware of the fact that my new account awarded me with 4 (exactly 4) checks! But I was to fret not, cause I was able to request more when needed. As I listened to the sales representative, my head was nodding politely, but my mind was having a hard time remembering the last time I had ever seen a check. I'm pretty sure it was at least 30 years ago.
In the country where the internet was invented, people still use checks daily.

Public Transport
I wondered why in a smallish city like this one, people still owned cars. The short answer is: unreliable public transport. Why is there even a bus schedule? One thing I'd say, though, all of the drivers I've encountered are super nice and helpful. So much that they seem to stop wherever it suits the person getting out. True story. 

Home Appliances
The kitchen is the biggest room in every house. Some may argue this allows to accommodate family and social gatherings. I have come to the conclusion that it's rather to accommodate humongous home appliances. No matter how much food I store, my fridge always looks empty. I don't even bother using the dishwasher, the sum of all of my table, cooking and kitchenware fail to load it fully. Yet, I'm still to make sense of the fact that apartments come with no washing machines!

The list goes on and on: prices (I'm talking $9 for 4 kiwis!? $5 for a small coffee!? and I won't even mention what I pay for my poorly-proportioned-with-huge-kitchen apartment...), size of cars, online orders left outside apartment buildings...

And yet, there is no other placer I would rather be :)

Lost in Translation

When I told my Grandma that I was moving to the US, the first thing she said was: 

"You'll have the opportunity to learn English."

English being my second language since the early age of 4, I couldn't help but laugh.

Less than a week in US territory, I am laughing no more. 

I've become a human Wikipedia, having to explain what my British English words pronounced in a broken Irish accent are failing to express.

     · The place where your clothes go is not a wardrobe, but a closet.

     · You ask for the restrooms when you want to go to the toilet.

     · The elevator lifts you up building floors.

     · Fall is the new autumn.

     · Supermarkets don't have trolleys, but carts.

     · Rubbish is put in trash cans.

     · If you have a sweet tooth, you would want some candy.

     · When you want take away from restaurants you order take-out.

     · City center signs read downtown.

     · ...

And don't get me started on the spelling: replacing 's' with 'z' or erasing 'u' in words like flavour and colour.

Or the metric system. My head is currently a molotov cocktail of inches, Fahrenheit, pounds, feet...

Indeed Grandma, indeed, I will be learning English.

Undeniable Signs of Aging

When do we stop growing 'up' and begin to grow 'old'? 

Is it when kids expose the obvious generation gap between you and them by addressing you  as 'Madam' / 'Sir'?

In my particular case, there was that (aren't kids lovely? - sense the irony there) but most importantly, what the event triggered: acceptance. Admitting to myself that, although I still love doing some of the same things that I did years ago ("but I'm not old! I still like to do what young people do!"), the reasons for doing them couldn't diverge more.

Here is what I'm talking about: 

1. Dyeing my hair

'Sunkissed brown', 'golden bronze', 'deep copper'... My hair has seen (and in some cases suffered) a wide range of shades and highlights.
Motivation behind it:

   · Before: new looks

   · Now: new greys

2. Wearing my headphones on the go

During my daily bus commute, walking around town, at work...My headphones plugged in to walkman (yes, I'm that old) > discman (told you I am!)) > ipod > and now phone.
Motivation behind it:

   · Before: listening to brand new hits

   · Now: cancel the noise of world - I confess: there times when no music is coming out of them :)

3. Longing for the weekend
All week waiting for Friday, thinking about the free days to come.
Motivation behind it:

   · Before: Go out with friends till dawn and go out again the following day.

   · Now: Curl up under a blanket on the couch with a good book and a hot tea. My weekend plans are the best!

What makes you feel your age?

Happy Hallothanksmas!

Wait, I'm confused, is Christmas still on for 25th December? 

Excuse me if the answer to my question is obvious. Last time I checked we were half way through November, making it 38 more sleeps (38!) until then - ok, give or take a few hours depending on what part of the globe you live in. 

Why then have we gone from pumpkins and ghosts only a few days ago, straight into snowmen and and Christmas trees?! No 'in-between' whatsoever to enjoy a consumerism-free November. 

I want in-betweens, I like in-betweens! In-betweens keep me sane. In-betweens act as breathers to help me recover. 

But nope! Instead I have shops with fake snow on its windows and/or Christmas carols playing on the background. Even supermarkets are stocked up with toys, chocolates and 'turrón'. The most astonishing thing is that we don't find this astonishing at all! We happily buy the Christmas tree with all its decorations, we start loading on gold gift wrap, we start planning Christmas dinners and booking friends and family.

How did we allow this to become the new normal? 

Next thing I know I'll start celebrating my next birthday the day after I turn a year older. 

There is a clear conflict between my journey towards inner peace with all my meditation, yoga and whatnot and a world that conspires against my mental sanity. Happiness is found in living in the moment they say, well stop stressing me about future events then!

Wedding Planner

I'm hiring a wedding planner.

Hold your horses before jumping into any conclusions: I am not getting married - everything's still good in singlehood -  everyone else around me is. And they all seem to be doing it at the same time! 

That's why I'm on the lookout for a wedding planner. Not your regular one though. To pull me through this wedding season my wedding planner needs to also be a:

1. Stylist

Looking for a dress opens an overwhelming world of infinite options of colours, shapes, lengths...At least the bride knows she'll be wearing white! 

2. Financial advisor

Outfit for the day (dress, jewellery, handbag, shoes, etc.) 

+ gift for the newlyweds 

+ flights and accommodation when needed 

+ hen-do expenses

+ hairdresser 

x by number of weddings 

= I'll let you do the math!

3. Chauffeur

Wedding day: home > ceremony. Ceremony > wedding reception. Wedding reception > home. 

Prior to wedding day: frantic tours around the city in desperate search of a decent dress.

4. Prompter

Weddings bring people together who haven't been so in years. And, although surprisingly good with faces, I'm a complete disaster at remembering names. Having, like political and royalty members do, someone whispering in my ear the name, relationship to the bride/groom and major life events of the person approaching would prevent me from repeating embarrassing experiences.

5. Nutritionist

Traditional Spanish weddings offer a fine selection of small bites prior to a (at least) 4 course dinner. Add the glasses of wine that waiters eagerly keep refilling and the open bar and you easily get yourself into a nutrition bombshell that only a few weeks' detox plan will help your digestive system recover from.

6. My +1

For 2 main reasons:

a) to mitigate seating planning headaches for the bride and groom (tables are normally set for even number of people)

b) to avoid answering for the nth time whether I am with someone at the moment, which normally follows with a pity faced "who knows? you might meet someone today".

Simple Questions Impossible to Answer

Sometimes the simplest queries are the most difficult to answer. Occasionally I am challenged with questions that, although hide no obscure intentions, leave me answer-less (and that 'am I weird?' feeling).

"Where are you from?"

Both my birth certificate and passport say Spain, but my heart is made of pieces from every different place I've lived in. Pieces small enough that impede me from identifying myself with another nationality, but so big that prevent me from feeling Spanish.

"What do you do at [insert company]?"

When your daily tasks, responsibilities, organisation and focus changes on a daily basis, it is impossible to generalise what you do for a living.

"Why did you leave [insert last city I've lived in]?"

Excellent question that I frequently ask myself as well. And a very personal one. I'm still trying to come up with the perfect answer that will satisfy those looking for an interesting story. In the meantime, I smile and say it was down to 'several things, none in particular'.

"Can you recommend a book?"

I would very much love to, but I need you to guide me here a bit. Reading a book is like listening to a song, the one you choose has to match not only your personal preferences, but also your mood. It will depend on what you are looking to feel when you put the book down.

"Don't you ever feel lonely living on your own?"

The loneliest I remember feeling was during a time I had someone by my side. After then, I stopped believing that the amount of people around you is not a direct indicator of how accompanied someone is.

"How many languages do you speak"

What do you mean by 'speak'? Mam's desperate face when I fail to find the word I'm looking for proves that I sometimes fail to speak my own native one! 

"Are you staying here for good?"

None of us are :P

Heat Wave Alchemy

It turns out that being invisible in not my only superpower!! 

Remember how Obelix gained superhuman strength drinking a magical potion? I'm him! But skinny. And my superpowers are not triggered by some elixir, but rather by extreme heat. And it's not strength I gain but so many other supernatural abilities - ok, I'm nothing like Obelix, but you get the gig. 

As thermometers strike +40 ºC (+104 ºF for my American friends),  brace yourselves: the superwoman is released...

Top 5 Superpowers

1. Melting ice with a glimpse of my eyes

I pour water into a glass, throw in a few ice cubes and the second I turn to put the water jar back into the fridge, all the ice in the glass has disappeared!

2. Sleeping statically

The silhouette drawn on my bed sheets by the sweat cascading from every single little pore in my skin is an exact reflection of my own. Clear proof.

3. Evaporating liquid with the touch of my hand

The five steps from the washing machine to the clothes' rack is all it takes me to get a perfectly dry laundry.

4. Pulling off a permanently wet hairstyle

Not sure when it stops being water from the shower and begins being sweat...

5. Drinking my body weight in water

A glass of water has become an extension of my hand.

I'm beyond ecstatic at this point and I feel that I've only just started this journey of self discovery :)

Nonsensical Logic

As human beings, we are gifted with the most amazing asset that exists: a limitless mind. It can achieve incredible things if we feed it with the right stimuli (bad TV is not one of them) and train it diligently. I've read about people who have been able to go days and days with no intake of solids or liquids with just the power of the mind and others who claim to have cured from mortal illnesses by using their mind. 

We have the power!

... and yet we (I pledge guilty) waste it in creating some kind of genius nonsensical logic. Don't know what I'm talking about? Read on!

Objective: Save money.

Mind's logic: I need to cut expenses so I'll fit *all* of my groceries in just one plastic bag. 

Reality: I'm saving 5 cents of a plastic bag and risking arriving home with a numb hand and arm from all the lack of circulation. That, if the bag's quality is high enough to bear all the weight, otherwise my shopping can end up scattered in the middle of the street.

Objective: Arrive on time.

Mind's logic: I need to get on that bus, the very one that is on the bus stop on the other side of the three-lane-two-sided road. I'll just ignore the red lights and run as fast as I can dodging the constant flow of cars.

Reality: I'm choosing death before a few minutes delay.

Objective: Eat healthy.

Mind's logic: I'll choose the healthy option and have salad for lunch. With cheese sauce. A lot of it. And croutons. And add a bit of salt. 

Reality: I'm eating the most unhealthy meal in the menu.

For the good of humanity, let's start making better use of our limitless minds!

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are real. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely intentional.

Bad Karma

Disclaimer: I do love this city. I'm enchanted with its beauty and I'm keen in making others see it as well :)

Living in a big city is really getting to me. It's draining all of my positive energy. The same one that I've taken years to nurture. It was easier  when I lived in a cute little small city where everyone was full of 'thank you' and 'thanks' and 'grand'.  

Ever since I moved here I sense this pervasive flow of negative energy in the air. We're all exposed to its non-discriminatory force. Once caught it spreads from person to person instantly. The most immediate reaction is the urge to give out. About everything. About anything. Vision and perspective of life is concealed by a dark layer and a strong impulse of sharing it with others grows. Soon those around mimic this attitude and so on and so on.

The lovely warm sun rays become unbearable hot weapons.

The atmosphere cleaning rain confine people between walls and awakes joint pain.

The colourful mood-boosting spring triggers allergies of all sorts.

... And like this with everything. 

I don't want to get caught in this! I'll continue with my fight for immunity, counteracting with smiles, good thoughts and better actions. 

I need however, to be extra careful! Just the other day I caught myself swearing when a car in front of me did a weird turn that forced me to abruptly brake. 

In a jungle of noise, lights, children shouting and grownups rushing around, how does one feed and grow inner peace? I'm determined to find out.

The Proud Misfit

I am

• ... a woman
• ... self-sufficient
• ... in my thirties
• ... single
• ... left-handed (but that's a story for another day)

Long story short, I am a MISFIT.

Living in a city where I am the living exception to the rule. This fact grants me the privileged position of being the target of awkward (and quite frankly, in many cases rude) comments, questions and moments all around the same theme: 

"What am I doing with my life??"

And although at the beginning all these comments made me want to climb under my duvet and cry myself blind; wisdom (actually, no, not wisdom, but rather, not giving a damn - for the use of a better word) has made me realise that not being like others is what gives me an identity.

I have accepted that I am where I have to be and made my mission to make others accept this too. Listen up:

• the only babies/toddlers I like are the ones I share some part of DNA with. And even those, I am happy to give back after a while
• no, I'm not worried about finding someone - last time I checked I hadn't lost anything
• the time when I felt the loneliest is when I had (the wrong kind of) someone by my side

• stop asking me whether I have a partner! Not having one does not make me a defective person and it certainly does not define me
• defining me by my relationship status says more about you than it does about me
• yes, I might be picky, but shouldn't you be with the person you decide to share your life with?
• I'm not sure if destiny has something good waiting for me, what I do know is that the best way to predict the future is to create it. I wouldn't be where I am if I had left things to chance instead of working by butt off!
• in the past 10 years or so I've lived in 5 different cities, met people for more countries that I know existed and seen places I had only dreamed of visiting. No, I don't feel like I'm throwing my life away
• I've found a passion and I'm pursuing a dream. I'm not trying to get you to follow my dream, so quit trying to single me out for not wanting to follow yours.

This is my life and I am working on being happy to be living it.

Everything in Excess

Reality check: Christmas is over, you can resume your normal live.

If you celebrate Christmas you might be like: "What? normal life? but Christmas is part of my life!". 

Well..I see it more as the movie track of your year: everything condensed in a short period of time.

Family: you might not see them in months and then suddenly you're meeting relatives day after day. And the ones you don't meet, you have to call. People you haven't spoke to since last year. It gets to a point that you run of things to talk about! I'm sure I've addressed my cousins by names other than their own in repeated occasions.

Food: you eat normally for over 350 days a year and then inexplicably consume your weight in food in one sitting. Just like that, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Gifts: isn't it a great gesture to have a whole city/country/continent buying things at the same time? The jammed shopping centres, the queues, the traffic jams... And giving presents is the high of my Christmas, but wouldn't it be nicer to give and receive presents evenly throughout the year instead of supporting extreme consumerism in a day?

People in general: there's excess of people everywhere during Christmas. The rest of the year everyone does their own thing, but Christmas is the only time when we all seem to be doing the same things at the same time. I've mentioned about the shopping, but there's so much more... The dining (restaurants are full and service is bad), the strolling (streets and parked packed), the free timing (queues in cinemas)...

Please, don't take this attitude of excess into January by signing up to the gym or going crazy with the sales. Just try to spend more time with your close family and true friends, show them your smile and try to enjoy a moderately happy live.

Spellbound Selves

You know that moment, at a party or in a club, when everyone around you is utterly drunk and you are as sober as a judge? When you witness people embarrassing themselves to a point where you really hope they won't remember when their intoxication drops? People who you thought you knew pretty well impersonating someone else. It's like looking at long-time friends for the very first time.

It seems that the exact same thing happens when everyone around you is in a relationship and you are single.

This thought came into my mind during these festive days, when I spend an unusual amount of time with people I otherwise rarely see (note to self: this is material for a blogpost). I'm sure that they have experienced the change gradually, but for me, it comes as a shock. The guy who had us all heartbroken by playing 'hard to get', has turned into a puppet under the orders of the lady holding the strings. He keeps running from one place to another like a loyal puppy following her orders. He's not alone. The once professed and active feminist is now responding to nicknames ranging from "Princess" to "Babe" and using terms of the kind of "my Little Muffin". Personal interests seem to vanish to make room for joint activities: the great cook of the group now only bakes cupcakes. Or, in some cases, one of them absorbs the lifestyle of the other: the barbecue organiser now follows a strict vegetarian diet. 

When drunk, if we were able to watch ourselves from the side of sobriety, would we regret the person we become when bewitched like this?

When in a relationship, if we were able to watch ourselves from the side of singlehood, would we regret the person we become when bewitched like this?

Singlehood Discrimination

Dear Single Friends,

When our relationship status triggers the envy of those around us, stay cool; play along. Live up to their idealised image of our freedom. Rejoice in not having to explain your whereabouts; in doing whatever you want whenever you want. Make sure to tell them about that trip you're planning on taking: narrate every detail and, above all, don't forget to omit the fact that you might never get to go because you have no one to embark in the adventure with. 

Because despite our stereotyped ideal life, the truth is that this world is not meant for singles. And I'm not only talking about St. Valentine's Day, but every other day as well. So, even if by force and not by choice, build the strength required to deal with the unfairness in life:

• married couples (2 people, 2 current/saving accounts) get furniture and home decor as wedding presents. We single people (1 person, 1 poor current/savings account) have to buy everything for the house by ourselves - don't get me started on buying a house
• people get that pitiful look in their faces when your shopping basket consists of lots of bags with single items: 1 tomato, 1 apple, 1 banana, etc.
• constantly answering the question "do you have a partner?" followed by "don't worry, someone will come when the time is right" - I wasn't worried, but thanks
• 5L washing detergent = 10 euro. 1L washing detergent = 5 euro - logic behind this? Food in smaller packages is more expensive!
• 2 x 1
• milk goes sour
• getting pulled into things you don't want to do because people assume that you are single and therefore free to babysit their plants - if I don't have plants myself it's for a reason!
• being moved around in planes because you are "travelling alone"
• ...

Single friends, you'll find a number of obstacles that our 'coupled' friends will never even think about, but remember: 

you are enough

...even if the world insists in making you feel differently

Think Twice Before Growing Up

Deluded. No other word to express how I feel living my adult life.

Why was I so keen on growing up? Why did I keep stressing that I wasn't 7, but 7 and a half? Why did I wear make up to conceal my real age to bouncers in clubs? Why did I search for opportunities to run away from my parents' protective wings? How can I go back there again?  

Let me tell you one thing: growing up sucks! Excuse my language, but it does. Why?

1. Emotions need to be controlled
The other day in the supermarket I saw a toddler throwing a tantrum in the middle of the fruit and vegetable section. He was lying on the floor, stamping strongly hands and feet and refusing to respond to his embarrassed mother. Other shoppers were annoyed by the shouting or felt sorry for the parent. Not me. I was jealous, wishing I could do just the same thing and release all my anger on the cold tiles. But no, as an adult you instead have to bite your tongue, eat your nails and lose sleep when things don't go your way.

2. Thoughts are filtered before being spoken
Growing up didn't blind me from your ridiculous narcissism or your need to judge others based on the brand they wear and the car they have. My head might nod and my mouth might hum, but my mind still thinks you're plain stupid (excuse my language , but you are).

3. Time has meaning
My 2 year old niece wakes up in the morning not knowing whether she has to go to nursery or can enjoy her parent's company the whole day. Whatever day of the week it ends up being, she enjoys every second of it until bath time leads her on to sleep.One day after the other. There is no past or future, she only knows the here and the now. It's all about the past and the future for me. I'm dreading tomorrow Monday (future) thinking where did the weekend go (past) and already thinking of the hours of sleep that I'll get tonight (future) having had a sleep-in this morning (past).

4. You are legally obliged to do stuff
OMG the amount of administrative tasks you have to go through as an adult! Taxes, health insurance, mortgage, credit card, registering to vote, issue internet and phone contracts... The list goes on and on and never gets less boring. Why didn't I enjoy more living at home with my parents and just 'being'?

Children of the world, be warned: the freedom of adulthood is just a myth.

My Enviable Superpower

"I have the power." Or more specifically, I have the superpower. I've had it for a while now, although only intermittently. However, since I moved to Madrid it hasn't left. It's permanency has triggered this public confession.

What superpower? you might be asking yourselves. Well, I'm not one who brags, but let me tell you that this superpower is the one who every human being longs for. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado I present you with my superpower:

I am INVISIBLE!

Yep! For some time now, I've had a sneaking suspicion that I was unseeable, based on a number of inescapable clues:

• repeatedly getting stepped on and pushed when using the public transport

• obtaining dead silence when greeting good mornings and good evenings

• people pushing-in when diligently queuing

• my place got taken in the café when I stood up to get some water (my food, mobile and jacket were still there)

• being spoken over

And then, the other day my suspicion was fully confirmed. Here is what happened:

I was gripping to the bus bar to avoid falling over (riding a bus in Madrid can be considered an activity of high risk) and suddenly felt a hand on top of mine. Not close or barely touching, no, on top! and the bus wasn't that crowded!

Long story short and the main takeaway for everyone: I am here! as creepy and enviable as that may sound...

Stages in Life

My extended family only get together in two yearly occasions: Christmas and my Grandma's birthday. With still some months to the former, we met this week to celebrate the latter. Four generations around 86 candles, which were heroically blown by the woman who has given birth to no less than 10 children! You can now more realistically picture the amount of attendants to the event (and know the reason why we don't meet more often...). With four generations present on the night, there were representatives of all ages, giving me the opportunity of seeing life through their eyes for the duration of our conversation. All having a completely different view of the same world we all live in...

After gathering bits and pieces of the night, I reached the conclusion that life is lived in 4 different stages.

1. Flowing Life

Ages: newborn - 14

These are the years where you 'go with the flow'. Your parents determine your days, when and where you come and go, what times you eat or what you buy. You have little sense of time or perspective. Life is lived through others. At the end of this phase and after a bad hormonal kick, your environment becomes your war and you take up arms against literally everything. 

2. Theoretical Life

Ages: 15 - 29

Not liking anything in your life, you begin to imagine the great things that you fail to have and start to cook up the great plan that will lead you to a life of rainbows. You make being a free spirit your life purpose and firmly believe that all you want in life is to burn bridges and travel around the world with no other baggage than your own soul. And because anything that remotely resembles a responsibility is a clear threat to your plan, you run away from any form of commitment. You picture yourself leading a successful career doing what you love to do.

3. Fall-Rise-Fall-Rise Life

Ages: 30 - 69

But then life gives you a reality check. You realise how difficult things are, the amount of unfairness in this world. And you fall and rise again because there is no other option. And then you fall once more and have to come out from the deepest holes to stand back on your two feet; until you're knocked right out again. And rise. And fall. And rise...You become wiser and gaining a privileged perspective that leads on to the following stage.

4. Observant Life

Ages: 70 and above

With a tired body and an experienced soul, you become to live life through others (family, friends, acquaintances, actors, strangers...). Your only problems are theirs and your happiness is to witness their own bliss. 

A Life in Numbers

It has been almost a year since I started this blog; since I made the decision to laugh at myself and life.

Wait, that would make it almost a year since I turned 30! Which can only mean that in a few days time... Oh Lord! Let's just say none of us is getting any younger...

This thought has given me a sudden urge to look back and evaluate (and question) what on earth have I done with all of these days? They escape like sand through my fingers.

Why do we do this? Why do we count things? Why do we enjoy so much keeping track of time to celebrate thresholds? But we do. Even unconsciously we do. I think that that first "when do we arrive?" from the back of our parent's car is what triggers a live constructed around counts...

A life in numbers. My life in numbers:

• 7 months without a drop of Diet Coke - I used to drink an average of 3 cans per day
• 10 hours of sleep - It's Sunday
• 20 minute swim
• 15 items in my shopping list
• 84% of battery in my laptop
• 8 emails in my inbox
• 29 degrees Celsius
• 4 more days to see my niece
• 20:11 of 10th of August of 2014

Would stop counting make it all count?

Summer Expectations

Summer officially started a few days back.  The season of long days and warm nights, of holidays and sun and beaches and blue skies, happiness, smiles... or at least this is the picture many of us paint in our minds, whilst being faced with a different reality.

They say that the secret of happiness is low expectations. But let's be honest, we get carried away more often than not. And perhaps more so in Summer :)

Lunch on the Beach

· Expectation: sitting under the shade of an umbrella, looking over the blue horizon with the soundtrack of the waves coming in and out the shore...In summary: this.

· Reality: umbrella blows away, sand gets all over the food and inside the drink, which by the way is all heated up by the sun and resembles to mulled wine.

Happily Strolling
· Expectation: clear skies, long days, time to walk everywhere, enjoying the warm kiss of the sun.
· Reality: 6pm 40ºC A 20m distance to the nearest bus stop takes 20 minutes. It's a miracle that your muscles are responding under such heat.

Summery Clothes
· Expectation: goodbye tights, sleeves, trousers, jumpers... hello flowery dresses, sandals, t-shirts!
· Reality: it's going into supermarkets, shopping centres, cinemas, public transport and well, any building really, and you are transported to the Arctic. What's with the air-con, people?

Months of Sunshine
· Expectation: you've survived months of rain, wind, cold, dull days and finally here is the longed for reward. Weeks of happiness ahead.
· Reality: and suddenly shops start putting up the Christmas decorations. Where does time go?


Nothing lasts forever. Make the most of the things you love because you won't be able to enjoy them forever; and don't let the ones that do harm bring you down, because they too will disappear. Happy Summer!

Ignorance is Bliss

There is a magnifying mirror in my parent's house. Not a normal magnifying mirror, but one where I swear you would be able to see the deepest layer of your skin if you stare at it for more than a minute. I haven't been able to look into that mirror for that long. The second my eyes caught sight of my face in it, I turned away. Scared.  

This revealing mirror got me thinking that more often than not, it's better to live alien to certain truths. I don't mean that we should all lie (not even white lies), no, I'm a very honest person. What I mean is that, occasionally, ignorance is a direct cause of happiness. A few very personal illustrations of this point:

1. Dental surgery - I truly believe I am a happier person without knowing the details of what happened in the 2 hours I was anesthesised
2. Santa -  the confusion of finding a Barbie hidden in my parents' wardrobe a few days before seeing it under the tree and the consequent revelation of years of false beliefs
3. Sales - they can ruin the excitement of owning a pair of gorgeous shoes, when seeing them half price a few weeks later
4. Food - I trust that you're all familiar with the ingredients that go into the very Spanish black pudding or outrageously expensive French foie? And I don't want to know any of the translations for the delicious plates I tried in Tokyo...
5. Relationships - if he ever stupidly slipped, he can live with the guilt. I'm not a priest, you won't be forgiven upon confession
6. Judgmental people - I prefer living not knowing what you think about me. I don't care
   
   and of course, the thing that started this post in the first place..
7. Magnifying mirror - my happy little world of ignorance perverted by the blunt truth

So trust me when I say that:

"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with."

Hunting for my Home

I'm exhausted. I have devoted every single afternoon of these 2 months to view apartments. How many have I seen? More than 50 I'd say (and counting...) And when I'm not visiting one, I'm thinking about where my home will be. Even at night, this thought haunts my dreams.  At this pace, I can easily be considered an expert in real estate.

There is still something weird in entering someone's house, walking on their floors, opening their wardrobes, invading their privacy. It's as if you stepped into someone's life for the duration of the visit. In the end, with practice, I've become quite efficient in my research and visits. There is no time to spare! Here are a few learnings I'd like to share (you can thank me by helping me find somewhere to live!):

1. Ads: where words have different meaning
   'exterior' = 1 window to the street, the rest non-existent or facing an internal yard.
   'bright', 'loads of light', etc. = you need to turn the lights on from 6pm in summer and the whole day in winter
2. Ads: where words are left to self-interpretation
   'ready to move in' = add to the price at least 30K EUR more to reform the place.
3. People live in all kind of conditions
   ok, I'm a bit OCD, but you wouldn't believe the things that I've seen...
4. ...it's as if they didn't want to sell their houses
   some people don't let you touch anything, others point out the negative aspects, others even put up the ad and when you call they say that it's not available for viewing!
5. Estate agents: what do they do again?
   I have provided them with details of what I am looking for and they either a) have just sold a house which was exactly what I am after; or b) show me one that has absolutely nothing to do with what I want
6. You will like what you can't have
   in the first weeks of my house hunt marathon, I saw the house I wanted to live in. The price was higher than what I can afford (and to be fair, it is overpriced), so I made an offer which got instantly rejected. Now I can't help myself comparing every other house to this one, which I have probably idealised in my mind...
7. ...because you can't have it all
   when I like the location, I don't like the interior of the house. When the house quality is excellent, it's too dark. When there is light, you need to make the house up...

Needless to say that I am yet to find my dream home. Until then, I'm back to living with my parents. Will we survive?